Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing

The name of a book I read is Tales Of a Fourth Grade Nothing by: Judy Blume. The story takes place in modern New York. The characters are Peter,a 9-year-old boy, and his brother Fudge, a 2-year-old boy. The problem is that Fudge keeps on messing up everything and gets all the attention, and makes Peter fell like nothing.
For example, at the park Peter's mom leaves Fudge and puts a girl named Shelia Tubman in charge of Fudge. Then Shelia goofs off and plays and Fudge climbs to the top of a playground and tries to fly. But he can't so he fell down and knocked his two front teeth out. But Peter's mom blamed Peter even though Shelia was in charge of Fudge. This made peter feel like nothing.
Another example of Fudge getting all the attention and making Peter feel like nothing is when they went to the dentist and the nurse pays more attention to Fudge than Peter. Then Fudge won't open his mouth and the dentist uses Peter to make Fudge open his mouth. This makes Peter feel like nothing.
At the end of the book. Peter's problem is solved when Fudge eats Peter's turtle. . And he goes to the hospital and everyone pays attention to Fudge but when they get the turtle out, Peter's parents realized that they been letting Fudge take all the attention and to make it up to Peter they get him a dog. Then Peter feels like something.

Bankrupts

The economy is falling apart because of stores going bankrupt and banks also. Most adults know this, but children? Most children do not know because no one tells them. So I'm going to tell you children but adults you already know this. A bankrupt happens when not enough people go to a store. So the store doesn't make that much money. So the problem is that the store owner needs to pay for everything[products, A.C.,employees,and e.t.c.]. Then the store does not have enough money. Now you might be asking,"But what causes customers to not buy products?"The answer is TAXES. PEOPLE ARE GETTING TAXED MORE AND SO THEY WANT TO SAVE MONEY. So they stop spending that much money and stores lose money. And the store closes down.
There is another type of bankrupt. It's the one about banks. When people loan money they take money from a bank because they want a house but they have to pay the bank back per a month, the money given to the bank is called mortgage. And the person also haves to give some extra money because the bank wants to earn money. Some banks failed to check the persons background and how much money they earn. So when the person fails to pay back the bank the bank takes the house. So say a person uses a loan from the bank to pay for a $500,000 house. HE fails to pay the mortgage and the bank takes the house but the house is only $300,000. So the bank loses money. And it also closes down.
There are people who try to save stores and banks. Some succeeded and others failed. But I won't be getting into that now.

The Great Earthquake

The eager earthquake trembled like a mad man. Buildings toppled on to the ground. The noise of the distance screams and falling buildings was so loud my head almost popped off. The earth shacked like the world was going to crack in half. Cracks in the earth dashed toward you like lighting striking. The toppling towers fell like books pushed over. Fired raced for things like racers trying to get to the finish line. Everyone ran like a evil lord has come back alive and is destroying everything in sight until it was a wasteland. Electric wires from building shocked and sprayed shocks every where and burned. After the quake people were as happy as kids after Christmas Eve.

Disneyland, California

October 24, 2008, the night I went to Disneyland. My family and I [my mom, my dad, my brother, and my grandparents] got there right before 9:00. At Disneyland, people were getting ready for the fireworks. A loud speaker announced the fireworks were going of in 15 minutes. We went onto this ride that flew in the air. But 20 minutes later the fireworks hadn't started yet for some reason. Finally it started and my family and I tried to find a good place then after a while we found one. After the fireworks, we went to the "Haunted House". When we got home it was midnight. After a long night I went sleep.

Today at school

Today I got to the door just in time. We went in and got out our instruments and the first thing I did was look at the agenda and music was the first thing in the morning .I got out my homefun [what Mr. Manchester calls homework] and then got my whiteboard and started to do the questions on the board. Then Mr. Manchester told us to go to music.
At music I got out my name tag and my book. The teacher talked to us what to do with these cotton balls we received a long time ago. We also played a song in our book. She then talked to us about our hand positioning.
Then after music we went to science lab and today where learning about seeds. We talked about the parts of a seed [which is the seed coat, the embryo, and the food supply]. Then we got our seeds and measured them. We also got a wet seed and measured that.
After recess we had SSR. I had finished a book so I got a new one. Then we did some pages and corrected our math homefun form last night. I thought it was hard. Then we had language arts and we wrote about a giant ship crashing through a small canal. Then we had lunch. I talked trough the time while we were eating. Then when we went out to play I played tag with some people. Then the bell rang and we went inside. Then we got ready to go home and did our jobs. Then Mr. Manchester told us to go to computer lab. We did our science and math test on the computers. Then after we were down with that we went to freerice.com. Then it was time to go. It was a great day.

Billions

This is too true to be funny.

The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of it's releases.

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive..

C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, At the rate our government is spending it. While this thought is still fresh in our brain...let's take a look at New Orleans.It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.

Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D) is presently asking Congress for 250 BILLION DOLLARS to rebuild New Orleans Interesting number...What does it mean?

A.Well.... If you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans(every man, woman, and child),you each get $516,528.

B.
Or... If you have one of the 188,251 homes in
New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.
C.
Or... If you are a family of four...
Your family gets $2,066,012.

Washington, D. C
HELLO!
Are all your calculators broken??

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Tax
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurringCharges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

Oh yeah, I forgot Welfare recepients are pretty much tax free!!
STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...And our nation was the most prosperous in the world.

We had absolutely no national debt...We had the largest middle class in the world...And Mom stayed home to raise the kids .

What happened? Can you spell 'politicians!'

And I still have to Press '1' For English. I hope this goes around the U S A At least 1 Billion times.

What has happened?????

Puzzle of the day

There are there men, one of whom is blind. They go into a dark room with 5 hats, 3 of them white and 2 black. Each men takes a hat and walks out. None of the men can see their own hat The first man looks at the other to and says I don't know what color I have on.The 2nd guy looks at the other two and also says I don't know what color hat I have on. The 3rd guy is blind and based on the other 2 said before him,he says I have a white hat. He's right.

How does he know?

Puzzle of the day answer

The blind guy knows he's wearing white because if guy number 1 says is" I don't know" it means that Guy number 2 and himself can't both be black. Then guy number 2 knows that based on what guy number 1 said, it means that they both can't be black so if the blind guy is black , guy number 2 knows that he is white, but he says "I don't know" because the blind guy is white. Which gives the blind guy enough information to know that he is white.

Puzzle of the day answer #2

The blind guy knows because if the first guy says "I don't know what hat I'm wearing" it must mean that the second person and himself can't both be black.Which means there are 3 possibilities, #1. person number 2 and himself are both white.#2 and #3. One of them is white and the other one is black or the other way around. Which leaves him confused and he doesn't know what hat he is wearing.Guy number 2 knows that one of them is wearing white and the other person is wearing black or the other way around or there both wearing white but when he looks at the other 2 he says"I don't know what hat I'm wearing". So based on what the other 2 said the blind person or person number 3 knows that he's wearing white because there more chances of being white than black.

What my Mom wants me to do........

Today my mom and my dad went back to school to see my classroom and teacher, and my mom wants me:

1. To be a risk taker( to say my answer even if it's wrong).


2. To have a good habit and attitude( Organize and to Focus).


3. To do my homework no more than an hour, if possible, spend time as less as possible, but finish as much homework as possible( Efficent).
4. To write more ( daily 20 minutes essay ).
5. To read out loud (to practice fluently and my voice).

P.S.

6. To practice piano for half of an hour daily.

7. To do 10 laps of swimming daily.

8. To practice Chinese 30 minutes daily.

That's not so bad, isn't it?????

Today

Today I went to school and today I have music and science. First in music we talked about all the teachers that were there the string teacher, the vocal teacher, and the wind teacher but we don't do wind until next year. I know I forgot to mention what grade I am in so I'm in 4 grade.Okay now that were done with that than the teachers talked about how to rent a instrument.Then after the talk I went to science with the class and then science teacher talked about rules.
Then we went to recess and I basically chatted with my friends, Blake and Alex. After that we had reading, math and a few another subjects.Then it was Lunch time and I chatted with my two friends then the bell rang. And I went to line up. So, then after we went inside the teacher read a story. Then we had a few subjects like Social Studies. Then we went home.

The Greenhorn and the mule Egg

Well now, there was a chap that got real sick of working in the big city. One day, he quit his job, packed up his wife and kiddies, and hi-tailed it out to Kansas to become a farmer. Bought a big parcel of land with a grand old barn and some fields just ready to plow and plant.
Now, being a bit of a greenhorn, the poor fellow didn't know where to start with that there farm. His wife suggested that they get a mule to pull the plow for them, and the greenhorn thought this was as splendid idea. He set off down the road to visit their neighbor and ask him where he could buy a mule.
Well, that neighbor was a bit of a wag. He'd sized up his new neighbor as a greenhorn in about five seconds and decided to have a bit of fun with him.
"Well, you could advertise for a mule in the local paper," the neighbor said. "But if you want to do it the Kansas way, well then you should get yourself a mule egg and hatch your own. That way you can train the mule up from birth to do exactly as you want."
The greenhorn's eyes got real wide. "I didn't know mules hatched from eggs," he said excitedly. "Where do I get one?"
"It just so happens I have one mule egg left from the last batch I raised," the neighbor said. He went into the shed and came out with a round, hairy coconut. The greenhorn's eyes lit up.
"How much do I owe you?" he asked his neighbor.
"That'll be a dollar. And mind you, you've got to sit on the mule egg night and day for a week before it will hatch," the neighbor said, accepting the greenhorn's money and handing over the coconut.
Well, the greenhorn ran all the way home and showed the mule egg to his wife and kiddies. Everyone was thrilled with his purchase, and they all took turns sitting on the coconut, waiting for it to hatch. They waited one week. Then they waited two. By the third week, everyone's bottoms were sore from sitting on the hard coconut, and still there was no sign of a mule.
"It must be a bad egg," the wife said at last. "Better throw it out and see if our neighbor will give us our money back."
As the disappointed family watched, the greenhorn took the coconut outside and pitched it into the bushes. All at once, a giant jackrabbit burst out of the tall grass next to the bushes and hopped away lickety-split.
"It's the baby mule!" shouted one of the kiddies. "Catch it, Pa! Catch it."
Well, the greenhorn ran after that long-eared critter as fast as he could go, shouting: "I'm your momma, baby mule! Please come back!" But he was no match for that jackrabbit. It darted here and there; it slithered hither and yon; and finally it slid down a hole in the ground and disappeared.
The greenhorn fell to the ground and lay panting in exhaustion. A few moments later, his wife and kids caught up with him and pulled him to his feet.
"Where's our mule?" asked his wife.
"The dad-blame thing got away," said the greenhorn. "And I'm not sorry it did. That's the speediest mule I ever laid eyes on, and I don't aim to plow that fast!"

The Fisheman and the Bear

One fine day an old Maine man was fishing and fishing on his favorite lake and catching nary a thing. Finally, he gave up and walked back along the shore to his fishing shack. When he got close to the front door, he saw it was open. Being of a suspicious nature, he walked to the door quietly and looked inside. There was a big black bear. It was just pulling the cork out of his molasses jug with its teeth. The molasses spilled all over the floor and the bear rubbed his paw in it, smearing it all over. Well, the old man was not the timid sort. He went to the back of the shack, put his head in the window and gave a loud yell. The bear jumped and ran out the door. It was running strangely. The old man saw that the bear was holding up the foot covered with molasses so it wouldn't get dirty. The bear ran to the lake shore. Standing on its hind legs, it held up the paw full of molasses. Soon all the flies and bugs and mosquitoes were swarming all over the sticky sweet paw. Then the bear waded into the water with his sticky paw full of bugs. It held the paw out over the water. Suddenly, a big trout came jumping out of the water trying to get to the flies. The bear gave it a swat and it flew to the shore and flopped there. Then another fish jumped into the air after the flies, followed swiftly by another. Every time a fish jumped after his paw, the bear cuffed it ashore. Soon it had a large pile. Finally, the bear decided he had enough fish and waded to shore. The bear had caught a mess of fish any fisherman would envy. The old man had caught nothing. He watched that bear eat half a dozen trout, his stomach rumbling. All he had for dinner was some bread and what was left of the molasses. Finally the bear paused in his eating, and looked over to the bushes where the old man was hidden. The bear stood up and laid the remaining fish in a row. Then it walked away up the shore. It kept looking back at the bushes where the old man stood. The old man crept out of the bushes and down to the shore. Sure enough, the bear had left six large trout for him. He looked over at the bear. It was standing at the edge of the wood watching. "Thanks a lot," the old man called to the bear. The bear waved the now-clean paw at the old man and disappeared into the thicket. "Well," said the old man, "That's the first time a bear has ever paid me for my molasses." The old man never hunted bears again.

Jesse

My name is Jesse. I am 6 years old. My favorite color is blue. I like games.I am very cute. I go to an Elementary school in Irvine, California. I like Ben 10 Alien Force[a show on Cartoon Network]. My favorite sport is Baseball. I am learning piano. I am very nice to my brother. I like to play war games. Please feel free to email me at jasunjesse@gmail.com if you have any questions.

Jasun

I am a 8 year old boy that likes video games.At my house we have a PlayStation 2 and a Nintendo DS Lite.My favorite color is red. The most favorite video game I have on the DS is Diamond [ it is a pokemon game].I have 1 bother that is 6 years old. I go to Elementry School near my home.My favorite sport is Soccer.My email is jasunjesse@gmail.com so just any question you want.

My vacation 2008

My vacation was a fun one. At first My family and me went to Yosemite National Park.We first saw the giant trees.My dad and me hiked to a waterfall. It was long hike but it was worth it. We would have gone farther to the other waterfalls but the sun was falling.And we went to a motel to spend the night.Then we went San Fransisco.My family and me went to restaurant and we ate some crab there. Then we went to a motel and stayed there.The next day we went to the Golden Gate Bridge. After that day we went to Pebble Beach and Monertery.Then we went home a few days later.

Jokes from my grandma

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% . The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.' The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

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Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?' 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

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An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that's red and has thorns.' 'Do you mean a rose?' 'Yes, that's the one, ' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

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Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he d idn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. 'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.' A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 'Sure.' 'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks. 'No, I can remember it.' 'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?' He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.' 'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks. Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment. 'Where's my toast?'

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A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 'So I hear you're getting married?' 'Yep!' 'Do I know her?' 'Nope!' 'This woman, is she good looking?' 'Not really.' 'Is she a good cook?' 'Naw, she can't cook too well.' 'Does she have lots of money?' 'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.' 'Well, then, is she good in bed?' 'I don't know ..' 'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?' 'Because she can still drive!'

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Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!' Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.' A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty.' Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said,=2 0'You're really doing great, aren't you?' Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'' The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

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One more. . .! A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

Eagle

Of all the predators that hunt in daylight, the golden eagle may have the best sight.It soars above mountainous areas throughout the Northern Hemisphere, flying in circles that widen with each pass.In an instant, it can notice movement thousands of feet below and make a nosedive at the target.If its a bird are small animal, the eagle slams its powerful rear talon into the victim and then grasps the prey with its hooked claws.The eagle may eat its catch on the spot or tote it back to its nest.

Wolf

The wolf constantly searches for prey and can travel for miles on its long legs with out tiring.Its nose and smell glands along its jaws guide the wolf, allowingvit to pick up the scent of a bison, musk oxen, moose, elk, and reindeer more than a mile away. The hunts large prey in packs, but a lone wolf can easily take down small animals, such as rabbits.

Sharks

Sharks are graceful swimmers. They propel themselves through the water by beating their tails from side to side.The pectoral fins are held out from the body, and as water flows over them, lift is generated to keep the shark from sinking.Further lift is produce by the upper lobe of the tail, which tends to push the head down, so that the shark can swim level.

Jokes

1. A guy walks into a bar.He says to the bartender, "Can I have a bag of helicopter flavored chips?"The bartender says,"Sorry, we only have Plain.
2. A guy walks into a bar.Ouch you would have thought he had seen it.
3. A guy walks into a bar and says," give me a beer before problems start"and keeps saying that.After the fifth beer he drank the bartender says, "When are you gonna pay for it?"And the guy goes, "Now the problems start."
4. A hambuger walks into a bar and the bartender says,"sorry we don't serve food here."
5. A skeleton walks into the bar and says,"gimme a beer and a mop."
6. The longest sentence known to man:"I do"

Crazy Facts

1. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111=12,345,678,987,654,321
2. It's impossible to lick your elbow
3. A snail can sleep for three years
4. Their is 293 ways to make change for a dollar
5. 1 in 4 humans have appeared on televisions
6. A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright Brother's first flight

What Happens , Happens for A Reason !

We seldom think of what we have, but always think of what we miss!

Why Do I need to go to Sunday School?

I read somewhere that learning a foreign language is in fact adopting a new way of thinking. That is a gem of saying, a marvelous expression that might hold the key to many issues associated with language learning.

Through the years, I have heard from quite a few beginners of English express their frustration in figuring out why it’s so difficult to commit a new word to memory. Even after having accumulated a number of English words, they still couldn't speak to or even

understand a native speaker. In some cases, during a conversation with a native English speaker, it is hard for a student to complete a sentence without stumbling, even when that particular sentence has been studied many times from a book or tape. The situation can become embarrassing because some fundamental or laughable mistakes often occur, an experience that makes many scratching their heads, “how could I be that retarded?” This confusion or frustration is part of the process of adopting a new way of thinking.

Those who aspire to learn a foreign language often must fight through the quagmire of native thinking. For example, until a Chinese native speaker can think in English, his or her speech will be delayed because he or she must translate from Chinese to English in the head. This begs the question: how does a Chinese speaker learn to think in English?

Maybe I am ignorant, for I do not find any theory or set ways to deal with such a difficult transition. Everyone fights his or her own battles. Here, intuitively I venture to suggest that, when you say “good morning” to another person, try not to translate it into Zao Shang Hao or Zao An in your head. Good morning should remain good morning. In Chinese, Zao Shang Hao may mean, ah, you are up early, how hard-working (a Chinese virtue) you are! Chinese people do respect those who get up early, for it’s a sign of being industrious. So on and so forth.

But in English good morning may mean “this is such a nice morning” to a stranger and “nice to see you again (from last night)” to a close friend or family member. Individualism is expressed and respected everywhere in the West. So, in English, everyone respects the next person with space and privacy, that’s also embedded in daily greetings.

If you understand those nuances, you know that "good morning" is not exactly Zao Shang Hao. With that in mind, you can go on to say “have a nice day.” Again, don’t translate it into Chinese in your head.

Another way to acclimate yourself to English thinking is to read a lot of masterpieces in English, good short stories, novels and essays. Yes, writings in special fields by native speakers are good materials, too.

First of all, you need to figure out what every new word means. If you can, try, at least try, to rely on English-English dictionary. Only when the confusion or foreignness becomes too unbearable, you can check the English-Chinese dictionary. The whole idea is try to detach from Chinese as much as you can. When the new words are out of the way, consciously concentrate on how words are used in each sentence. Yes, in many cases there are only one word or phrase that functions the best in the context. If you feel that many words can’t be used in one situation, you still haven’t distinguished the small differences between a word and its many synonyms. Synonyms aren’t exactly the same. If one can think along with the author, one can see how images and logic and even emotions provoked along the way are arranged and utilized in the overall writing. This could be the gist of thinking in English.

I heard about some theories in linguistics speculating that the Chinese way of expression can often be described as a large circle (the Mongolian military maneuver) that gradually works its way to a center, if there is a certral point at all.

In contrast, English expression coms out on more or less in a linear way. When I was in English writing class, professors insisted that we state the point (or thesis statement) upfront, at the end of the first paragraph, then use the rest of the paper to prove the point. It took me some time to get used to it because I was brought up in the tradition of bringing up the point, or the punch line, at the end of writing or speech. For a Chinese person aspiring to learn English, this transition from circular expression to linear reasoning may take time. While there are quite a few people who would never make such a transition or leap of faith, clearly it’s something to be aware of.

Finally, we ought to bear in mind that language represents a cultural system. Learning a language is to embracing a new culture. A culture is obviously something more than just means for daily communication. There is knowledge, for example, rooted or planted in a language. Many words are actually concepts of the cultural system. Once the accumulation of words and knowledge of a particular language is sufficient enough, it might become easier to think in a new language. This is a long-drawn-out process which could last as long as a lifetime.

A doctor's story

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. I asked him if he had a doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for awhile and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease. As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him. "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said. She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is." I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there are some that come along that have an important message, and this is one of those kind. Just had to share it with you all.

The truth about poop

• the poop produced while peaple are fasting has little to no smell
• sharks produse spiral poop
• when they are upset, chimps who have been taught sign language indicate their frustration by making the sign for poop.
• food can remainin your body for up to two days before you poop it out
• during Operation Desert Storm in 1990 the U.S. military used toilet paper to camouflage their tanks

Fox

The fox is a cunning small canine the has adapted to thrive everywhere from forests to human neighborhoods.Foxes are omnivores that eat everything from fresh fruit and small animals to discarded human food.The fox hunts alone at night, targeting mice, rabbits, birds, and voles with its keen senses of smell hearing.

CRAIGSLIST AD

What am I doing wrong? Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level? Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 432279810

*********************************************************************

THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation. With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Choosing Between an S Corporation and a Limited Liability Company (LLC)

By Karen J. Lange, The Company Corporation®

Acknowledgement: Nolo Publishing, Legal Guide for Starting and Running a Small Business
It's smart to protect personal assets from business debts and liabilities. Both owners of S Corporations and LLC's enjoy limited personal liability. By contrast, sole proprietors and partners have unlimited personal risk.

Traditionally, business owners who chose to form an entity to protect personal assets but allow income/losses to be reported on a personal tax return had to create an S Corporation. Today, that can also be accomplished with an LLC. All 50 states and District of Columbia recognize LLC's, and their popularity has soared. Nolo's Legal Guide for Starting and Running a Small Business states, "For the majority of small businesses, the relative simplicity and flexibility of the LLC make it the better choice. This is especially true if your business will hold property, such as real estate, that's likely to increase in value."

Both S Corporations and LLC's allow owners to avoid "double taxation" and to pay income taxes on a flow-through basis like sole proprietors and partners. However, LLC's are quickly becoming a preferred entity among small business. Here are some key examples of the benefits of an LLC verses an S Corporation:

An LLC is simpler and faster to form. It may be formed in one step, while an S Corporation election can only be made after a General Corporation is formed first.

An LLC is not required to hold annual meetings or to keep formal minutes, while an S Corporation is required to do so.

LLC members can split profits/losses in any way they choose. In an S corporation, shareholders must receive dividends according to the number of shares that they own, regardless of the amount of effort put into the business.

An LLC can be owned by any combination of individuals or business entities. Only United States citizens and resident aliens may own an S Corporation. Other entities generally may not own an S Corporation.

While many business owners are enjoying the simplicity and flexibility of the LLC, it may not be the best choice in every case:

Most states allow single-member LLC's, however Massachusetts requires two members. Married owners often accommodate this by naming a spouse. If you prefer not to share ownership, you may need to form a Massachusetts corporation instead.

Enticing or compensating employees with stock options or stock bonuses requires forming a corporation since LLC's do not issue stock.


S Corporation shareholders pay Medicare and Social Security tax only on money received as wages or salary, but not on profits received as dividends or that stay within the company. Under certain conditions, LLC members may need to pay Social Security and Medicare taxes on the entire amount of LLC profits. In particular, LLC's that provide professional services such as health, law or engineering should consult a tax advisor on this issue.

To be continued.... never ending Story...from my dad

It contains some old ones and some new ones. So the saga continues... To be continued

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
(David Bissonette)

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
(Sacha Guitry)

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of acoin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
(Hemant Joshi)

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become aphilosopher.
(Socrates)

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
(Dumas)

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want? (Sigmund Freud)

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
(Anonymous)

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
(Henny Youngman)

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
(Sam Kinison)

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
(James Holt McGavran)

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
(Patrick Murray)

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
(Nash)

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
(Anonymous)

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
(Henny Youngman)

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
(Rodney Dangerfield)

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
(Milton Berle)

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
(Anonymous)

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
(Anonymous)

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still live."

A preyer

I pray that all your dreams and wishes may be granted true
I pray you'll find the love in me that I have found in you
I pray that everything works out the way you want it to
You've changed my life so much, I pray that I have changed yours too

I pray you'll find the love you're searching for so desperately
I pray that you'll be happy even if it's not with me
I pray the bond we have will not become a memory
I pray heartache won't cover up that smile I love to see

I pray that I won't complicate our future with the past
I pray that every memory I have of you will last
I pray that we won't fade, though our beginning went too fast
I pray that we won't change, though everything already has

I thank you for the times you've sat and listened to me cry
I pray I'll help you through the pain that hides behind your eyes
I pray that love stays easy and we'll never have to try
I pray that we will never ever have to say goodbye

I pray that I'm a source of strength to get you through your day
I pray sometimes you'll think of me, remember things I say
I pray that God will bless your life in every single way
I pray to God we'll be this way forever and a day

Mercury

The average distance from the Sun is 36 million miles away.One revolution around the Sun takes 88 Earth days.The average speed of orbit is 30 miles/second.The diameter at equator is 3030 miles.The time for one rotation is 59 Earth days.It has no moon.Light from the Sun takes about 3 min. to reach Mercury.The temperature range is -361 to 800 Fahrenheit.

Saturn

Saturn is 887 million miles away from the Sun.One revolution around the Sun for Saturn is 29.5 Earth years.The average speed of Saturn is 6.0 miles/second.The diameter at equator is 74,898 miles.The time for one rotation is 10 hour,39 min.Saturn has a least 30 moons.

YOUR ATTITUDE CAN DO WONDERS

Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: "I will choose my own bride!"
Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son: "Well, in that case...ok"

Next Day Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case...ok"

This is how business is done!!

Moral: Even If you have nothing, You can get Anything. But your attitude should be positive

Life Is a Gift

Today before you say an unkind word -
Think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food -
Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife -
Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today before you complain about life -
Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children -
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep -
Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job -
Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another -
Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one MAKER.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down -
Put a smile on your face and thank GOD you're alive and still around.

A gift

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind.She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, "If I could only see the world, I will marry you."One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages cameoff, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.He asked her, "Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?"The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him. Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always bytheir side in the most painful situations.

Tibetan Personality Test.. try it!

There are only 4 questions but the results are Very interesting. Be honest and honor what pops Into your mind when the questions present Themselves. Note: The music is very calming!Click Here

Why I love my mom?

Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mum said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed".

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for dinner the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container and put spoons and bowls on the table. She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer. She watered the plants, emptied a rubbish bin and hung up a towel to dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for an excursion, and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse. Mum then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night solution & age fighting moisturiser, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails.

Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed."

"I'm on my way," she said. She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked. She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and TV's, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the basket, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework. In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualised the accomplishment of her goals.

About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. "I'm going to bed." And he did...without another thought. Anything extraordinary here? Wonder why women live longer...? Because WE ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL..... (and we can't die sooner, we still have things to do!!!!)

God Said NO!

I asked God to take away my habit. God said, No. It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. God said, No. His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary.


I asked God to grant me patience. God said, No.Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is learned.


I asked God to give me happiness. God said, No.I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain. God said, No.Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow. God said, No.You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life. God said, No. I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.

I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me. God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.

THIS DAY IS YOURS DON'T THROW IT AWAY

May God Bless You!

Beauty Of Math

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 =987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
987654321 x 9 – 1 = 8888888888
9876543210 x 9 – 2 = 88888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 =1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=12345678987654321

Now, take a look at this...

101%
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:
What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%.
How about ACHIEVING 101%?
What equals 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
If:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And:
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But:
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%
Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there; it’s the Love of God that will put you over the top!

Hollowen jokes

1. What did one zombie say to another? -"Get a life"
2. What did the Invisible Man 's mother say to him?-"I never see anymore!"
3. Why did the ghost go on a safari?-He liked big-game haunting.
4. What's a ghost's favorite Mother Goose story?-little Boo Peep.
5. Where do werewolves go shopping?-The maul.
6. Is the vampire a close friend of yours?-Well,I wouldn't stick out my neck for him.
7. Why did the monster get sick after visiting the Empire State Building?-He bit of more than he chew?

From expert in the field:

Standolyn Robertson is a certified professional Organizer and president of the National Association of Professional Organizer.

As our days become increasingly busy, living an organized life is not only desirable,but essential.Being organized helps individuals succeed at home and in their careers,avoid stress and save money.However, being organized is not necessarily the same as being "neat", because organization is about function, not appearance.

At work, being organized is not about having a paper-free desk,but about being able to find what you need,when you need it.Organized people have systems in place so that they do not waste time constantly looking for lost items. As a result,they are more likely to be on time and are less likely to forget things.Also,as you age it is even more important to have systems in place to organize your life. What worked when you were younger may not serve you as you become less mobile and your memory declines.

Being organized also reduces frustration and stress that are often caused by having to purchase lost items or redo misplaced tasks or jobs. In addition, organized people save money by keeping up with home and car maintenance, remembering to use coupons, utilizing early bird registration and paying bills on time. They also cut spending on food because they don't have to throw away spoiled groceries or frequently resort to takeout because there is nothing in the refrigerator.

Any way you add it up,being organized can inprove your life in multiple ways.When people are organized,they can spend they free time with famliy and friends,as well as for activities such as vactions, hobbies ,exercise and work. This allows them to establish a better balance work and life and be happy and healthy.

If getting organized is something your serious about, don't make the mistake of doing to much at once. take small steps so that you do not become overwhelmed. Think of the function of each room before you start organizing. Start with one room at a time and create itthat will serve you well.

About the Sun

• The Sun is about 870,000 miles across.


• The Sun is 330,000 times heavier than Earth.


• The Sun is 93 million miles from Earth.
• The Sun is middle aged.
• The Sun's force of gravity is always trying to crush it.The energy made from nuclear fusions help the Sun push outward to stop the squeeze of gravity.

A day at school

One day a kid was at school his name was Jacob.It was lunch time and he said "Oh no my mom packed me a slice of pie!She hates me.I refuse to eat."The person next to Jacob said "You don't like pie?'Jacob replied 'Not this kind"."What kind is it"asked the kid."Cow pie you want it?"Later that day they were having a test.Jacob asked the teacher if he could have a drink of water.The teacher said yes.Jacob went home and his mom shouted"What in the world are you doing here?" and Jacob said he prefers their water.

THE END

My day

Today my brother was sick he has a fever.I have homework from my parents and so I did it.I played with him for a while.Then we went upstairs and I got on to the Internet and finished some other things on this blog. Then I played games on the Internet.Later my brother and I went back downstairs and then I played the piano.After that my mom came home.

Jokes

1. What do you call a chicken that doesn't where sunblock? - a fried chicken
2. Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with his pants? -he wed his pants
3. What do mosquitos give computer hackers? -Megabytes
4. Why did the bee join the rock band? -To be the lead stinger
5. Why did the camper leave his watch behind? -because it was full of ticks
6. Why should you invite the sun to your party? -it knows how to break the ice
7. Why did moron tear a page out of his calender? -he wanted to take a month off
8. What do you call a student that studies hives? -a B-student
9. What is a pirate's two favorite letters of the alphabet?-C and Arrrr
10. How do you scramble an egg?-like this:ne gag

A story by Jasun Chen

The Grounder X-4

Once upon a time there was two kids their names were Guy and Buddy.They were rich and bought a machine that could go underground called the Grounder X-4.One day they went inside the Grounder X-4take one door and 10 more would take the other door and 5 will stay behind.Everyone got some weapons just in case.After that Guy pushed a rock and the doors opened.So they went inside and walked for a while when little moles jumped out of nowhere.They were armed with guns and started to shoot at us.So Guy,Buddy, and the men started to run behind rocks, boulders ,and walls.And then they started to shoot back at them.Later,they decided to go back.When they got back they learned that the other group found a chest full of gold and jewelry.They went back to the surface of the earth and lived and had adventures like this one. The End

Tips for Painting

Not sure how to choose a color, prepare a room, or clean a paintbrush? Learn some practical and unusual tips from Brian Santos, the nation's favorite painting expert.

1.Tips for Painting Novices

Q. What are three things a novice should know about painting?
Brian Santos: You might be surprised at the answer! Most of us might guess buying enough paint, priming, or prepping the walls. What do you think?

2.How to Test Paint Colors

Q. What is the best way to try a color before you paint, and why does paint sometimes look different from the paint chips?
Brian Santos: You probably selected the color by looking at it under a different type or intensity of light than what's in your room. Sunlight, daylight, fluorescent light, halogen light, and incandescent light affect colors differently. So bring the sample card into the room you intend to paint and look at it several times during the day. See how the color looks using different kinds of artificial light before making a final decision.

3.Low Sheen or High Shine?

Q. What's the best paint finish or sheen for my room?
Brian Santos: One factor you must consider is sheen, the degree of light reflection off the painted surface. In other words, how much the paint shines. Sheen affects the finish's appearance, durability, and suitability for certain uses. As the amount of sheen increases, so does the enamel value, which determines the hardness or protective value of the coating.


4.Use Color to Solve Problems

Q. How can I use paint color to trick the eye and solve decorating dilemmas, like falsifying the dimensions of a room?
Brian Santos: Your paint selection will depend on the result you desire. For example, if you plan on painting the walls white throughout your home, use the same value of white in every room for a unifying effect.

5.How Much Paint?

Q. How much paint should I buy?
Brian Santos: If you're not a numbers person, the following steps may sound like gibberish. Just take it slowly and break out each step -- at the end you'll arrive at an accurate estimate for the amount of paint you need.

6.Selecting Paint Applicators

Q. What kind of paint applicators are the best?
Brian Santos: You'll be tempted to buy a cheap, throw-away fuzzy-napped roller, but save yourself the headache! A 1/2-inch foam paint roller works faster, easier, and better. You can load three or four times the amount of paint onto the roller. Such porosity means less dipping into the roller tray, which means more coverage in less time. For smaller jobs consider a paint pad. It's a tool that has everything to offer: The pad's foam core holds three times more paint than a brush, has five times more surface area than a regular brush tip, and has bristles that are only 1/4-inch long, so the paint won't dry out. It splatters and drips less than a brush. Most pads even come with a plastic paint tray and airtight snap-on lid.

7.Blue Tape. Now What?

Q. How do you keep paint from seeping under the edges of masking tape?
Brian Santos: The secret to keep this from happening is to heat-seal the tape. Run a tapered plastic tool quickly over the applied edge of the blue masking tape after you've set the tape. This heats the edge of the tape, the waxy adhesive on the tape melts, and when it resolidifies at the edge, it creates a barrier that prevents paint from seeping underneath the tape.

8.Speed Through Cleanup

Q. What's the best way to clean a paintbrush?
Brian Santos: Taking care of brushes, rollers, and pads will save you time, energy, and money. Don't throw your tools in a bucket or sink and expect them to clean themselves; they'll be ruined, and you'll end up throwing them away and buying new ones. What household item can help you clean brushes and rollers in a flash?

9.Wallpaper: Paint or Remove?

Q. Is it easier to paint over old wallpaper than to remove it? If I have to remove it, what tools do I need?
Brian Santos: It depends! Read more for advice and tips on painting, and removing, old wallpaper.

10.Crayon van Goghs

Q. How can I get crayon marks off painted walls?
Brian Santos: With three children, I've tackled more than my share of crayon marks on the wall. The best way to remove these stains is to fold an old T-shirt into a pad several layers thick and place it over a crayon mark, then set an iron at medium heat and run it over the pad.

11.More Painting Secrets from Brian Santos

Would you like to get more tips from Brian Santos? You'll find them in his book, Painting Secrets from Brian Santos, The Wall Wizard, available in bookstores now.

油漆有两大类，水基的和油基的。目前北美能买到的水基漆，一般就是指国内说的乳胶漆。小时候家里刷漆，总有很大的有机体气味，那种漆是油基的。刷子用完了，好像要用汽油什么的泡才行。油基漆刷上很漂亮，但是不环保。现在刷水基漆，没有特别刺鼻的气味，刷子用水冲洗就行，而且水基漆跟油基漆的效果差别也不大了。水基漆不等于刷完了的漆面也溶于水。

小黑用过两个牌子的油漆：Berh和Benjamin Moors。对于内墙面油漆，根据完工以后的效果，有stain，ceiling，egg shell等类型，ceiling paint当然是刷屋顶的，北美很多房子屋顶都是semi-flat的，有很多小突起，需要胶性比较强的漆。egg shell从名字就能猜出来，就是那种能在墙面形成一种蛋壳效果的，俺建议轻易不要用，否则以后改别的漆不太好。对于所有的油漆效果，还有flat、semi-glossary和glossary的区别，也就是亚光、半亚光和亮面。Berh和rona的油漆，分为厨房、厕所用的，还有卧室、客厅用的。我询问过Benjamin Moors的工作人员，据他们介绍，这种分类方法实际上就是说每一种漆的防水防腐性能不一样。厨房卫生间用的漆，对可以水洗、防止发霉等指标要求高一些罢了。而Benjamin Moors则采用高中低档漆的分类方法，新产品还有一类是纯organic的，理论上可以理解成用纯大便喂养的蔬菜。其中的高档漆，基本上家用刷在哪里都可以。当然，买漆的时候最好还是跟工作人员说明白。

Berh的漆相对价格比较便宜，不过个人认为这个牌子漆的最大问题是色相不太好看，不全，如果分两次买相同颜色的漆，颜色会有一定程度的误差。再者就是覆盖性差一些，如果之前墙面有不同的颜色，有时候要刷好几次才能完全盖上。Prime的附着性也差一点，有时候需要刷好几遍。

Benjamin Moors的漆有非常全的色相，并且每种颜色都调得比较漂亮。买漆的时候还可以借用他们的整套色板回家研究，或者先购买小罐的sample。前面说过，他家的产品有不同档次的产品线，此外还有木板漆、金属漆，或者艺术创作用的glaze等等。如果抛开刷漆时候的纹路、光照因素，不同时间购买的Benjamin Moors油漆基本不存在颜色误差的问题。他家的prime也有三种，最好的是一种有强臭味的。基本上不管底面是什么漆，这种prime都能形成一个很好的基础，本人使用过程中，所有需要用prime的墙面都只刷了一次prime。如果你经常看电视，你会发现很多设计师使用的都是这个牌子的产品。

Benjamin Moors漆最大的问题是价格贵，另外似乎漆面比较软，怕磕碰，不适合撞墙自杀。

我家所有墙面选用了602B系列的flat效果漆，所有的木线、门板选用了semi-glossary效果的木材漆。这种木材漆比较稀，不太容易刷，刷不好经常会有流泪的现象。

接下来说刷墙。刷墙是一个看上去貌似简单实则最终会让你耗尽所有耐心直至抓狂的活动。我记得当我刷完最后一笔，真恨不得把刷子吃了。

刷墙最重要的并不是刷颜色，而是之前的准备工作。很多追求完美的人都喜欢在动工之前把墙面用TSP清洗一次。根据实践经验，俺认为除非是墙面上有很多油污，否则基本不用。清洗工作会消耗人很多体力和耐心，很多同学也都是因为使用TSP以后，没有用清水漂洗干净，最终刷成了花墙。真正需要重视的应该是贴边儿、补洞和打磨。

相信绝大多数刷漆的同学都不是专业的painter，即便是小黑同学本人在年轻力壮、风流倜傥、英俊潇洒、玉树临风、迅雷不及掩耳盗铃之势不可挡的少年时代曾经有画过画的经历，对于刷墙也是毫无帮助。画画讲究的是构图、局部和整体的关系、场景主体细节交待等等，刷墙要求的就是均匀和边际整齐，除非是你打算做faux painting。边际整齐，最主要就是要舍得花钱、花精力去贴胶带。市场上可以买到的painter tape有三种：蓝色的3M胶带，绿色的普通胶带和牛皮纸基质半边挂胶的一种胶带。3m胶带太贵，不用考虑。绿色胶带适用范围最广，但是撕下来的时候不太容易。牛皮纸胶带因为只有半边挂胶，使用以后去除很轻松，但是这种胶带只对普通墙面比较有附着力。贴胶带时，靠近要刷漆的一边一定要贴紧，任何细小的缝隙都容易造成虹吸现象，从而形成一个大漆泡。而另一边尽量不要贴紧，以后撕除就容易很多。

补洞相对比较容易。去home depot买一瓶类似油灰的东西和一把小抹刀，回来练习几次就明白了。要领是要果断。用给料的时候稍微比墙洞的体积多一些，然后挥刀给个压力，一笔带过就平了。不明白的同学请回家复习独孤九剑。

最终最能影响漆面效果的是打磨。我度过很多文章，大多数并没有讲明白打磨的作用。可以断定写那些文章的人，基本上没刷过墙。就如同很多爱情小说的作者连姑娘的手都没摸过是一个道理。简单言之，如果不打磨，即便是你刷得很仔细，等漆面风干氧化以后，你会发现墙面上有很多原来底色的细小砂眼。原因就是之前墙面并不平，而这种凹凸，用肉眼很难观察出来。理论上讲最好的刷墙法是先用150-180号左右的砂纸均匀打磨一遍墙面，然后用清水洗去尘土。风干后刷prime。prime晾干以后，再用180号砂纸再打磨，用干抹布擦去粉尘，再刷墙色。墙色干了以后，再用180号砂纸再磨，然后再擦去粉尘，重刷一遍。你会发现，Benjamin Moores的工作人员帮你算出的墙面漆用量基本是这个标准。实际上，作为一个有日常工作的人，第一遍墙色刷好以后，死掉的心都有了。我想另一种有效的手段应该是喷涂。

正式刷墙色反而比较简单，只要选择正确的工具，手法正确即可。刷边际线尽量用一种可以换面板的专用工具，漆要少沾，来回多走几遍，效果肯定比毛刷好。刷主墙面一定用滚筒。最后局部补漆也尽量用小滚筒而不是毛刷。滚筒能在墙面形成统一的纹理，光线照在上面不容易出现区别。semi-flat的屋顶要用15mm厚度的滚筒，刷外墙砖头需要19mm的厚度。一般的墙面好像是10mm-13mm左右的。不要买最便宜的滚筒，那些滚筒刷到最后掉毛，很让人郁闷。个人推荐home depot号称可以加快刷墙速度30%的特福龙滚筒或者Benjamin Moores4-5块左右的滚筒，都是好家伙。刷漆时滚筒尽量大幅度上下运动，小范围来回运动是最忌讳的。开始刷之前的漆要用木棒充分搅拌。刷墙面一定要有足够的耐心，任何失误在后面的任务中都要付出双倍的代价。

刷木线和门板尽量用毛刷或者很薄的滚筒。如果用毛刷，尽量每一遍刷得要尽量薄，运笔方向要一致。刷金属最麻烦，之前的防锈处理至今没有完全有效的手段。也许prime有一些作用，没有实践，不好胡说。

可以用一个废旧床单，刷到哪里，铺到哪里。滚筒架的手柄要长短备之。手边准备一块湿抹布，万一不小心漆蹭到别的地方，赶紧趁没干就用湿抹布弄干净。漆不要一次全都倒进沾滚筒的漆盒，用一点倒一点，往漆盒倒完，漆桶边上和搅拌漆的木棒要用刷子抹干净，防止蹭得到处都是。漆桶随时用橡皮锤封死，防止漆皮氧化。工具用完立刻清洗。

另外，如果是深颜色漆盖浅颜色漆，基本不用prime

prime的作用有两个，一个是做一层基础，另一个是淡化底色。
ceiling轻易不要刷。如果刷，最少横竖刷两遍。